SEX ADVICE: Female Ejaculation Techniques
by Catherine Clay
While some women may find female ejaculation easy, other women may struggle at first. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, the key to most any new sexual experience is to relax. Do not pressure yourself for immediate or specific results. Go with the flow!
Women and men need to be familiar with the G-Spot, its location, and how to stimulate it. This sacred spot is an integral part of female ejaculation; so if you are unsure of where the G-Spot is located and how to stimulate it, you should read the post The Elusive G-Spot for additional tips and explanations.
Step One: Preparation and Arousal
There are a couple of things you should probably do before getting started. First, grab a nice soft bath towel. Since female ejaculation can be quite messy, you'll want to put something down to avoid that notorious wet spot. Second, empty your bladder. This is more for your peace of mind - when you feel the need to ejaculate, you will feel more comfortable knowing that your bladder is empty. Third, find a comfortable place to lay down. Some women enjoy laying in front of a mirror - that way, everything that happens is in full view, which makes the process even more exciting.
As with other forms of sexual stimulation, you must be relaxed, comfortable, and aroused before diving into unfamiliar territory. If you are experimenting with a partner, cuddling, kissing, and caressing are intimate ways to ease into rigorous activity. Gently, slowly touch yourself in a massaging, tickling motion. Close your eyes, indulge your imagination, and create your own personal fantasy - something hot, sensual, and mind-blowing.
If alone or with a partner, watch a romantic or naughty film. Maybe you have a few dust-covered erotic novels that you could start reading, or you and your partner can take turns reading to one another. You are trying to warm yourself up for the sexual conquest that will follow. You know your body and mind better than anyone else. Whatever arousal techniques warm you up...go for it!
Step Two: Lubrication and Clitoral Stimulation
Most beginners find lubrication essential for learning new stimulation techniques. When exploring your tunnel of love, you should be fully lubricated. The experimental phase could take some time, so don't be afraid to lube up for the duration of your exploration.
After lubricating one or two fingers, you need to focus on your clitoris for a little while. Gentle up and down strokes work well, especially on both sides of the clitoris. Following slow up and down strokes, massage your clit in a circular motion. Alternating between these two types of movement is exciting and helpful. Then again, if you have a proven system that works for you, go for it. Instead of using your fingers or your partner's fingers, consider playing with a clitoral vibrator. Clitoral vibrators are designed to accomplish more in less time.
Step Three: G-Spot Stimulation
During this phase, you want to locate your G-Spot. Having teased and tickled your clitoris almost to the point of orgasm, your G-Spot welcomes attention. Slide one or two fingers inside of yourself up to your second knuckle. You may need more lubrication for insertion; make sure you are wet enough for internal stimulation. Curl and move your fingertips in a "come hither" shape and motion. As you're moving your fingertips, notice the various textures in your vagina. As your curled fingers face your front vaginal wall, you notice a slight change in texture - from a smooth texture to a rough, ridge-like texture. You've found your G-Spot!
Slowly stroke and place gentle pressure on your G-Spot with your fingertips. As you become more aroused, your fingertips will feel your G-Spot swelling. Literally, it is growing: Blood is flowing into your spongy G-Spot, enlarging it for even more intense stimulation. Keep up the good work! You are paying close attention to this often-neglected nook, and your G-Spot appreciates it. G-spot sex toys are great substitutes for finger-to-G-Spot techniques. G-Spot sex toys are designed with the shaft curves, length, and width that aid in direct G-Spot stimulation. Once a G-Spot sex toy is inserted, you will immediately notice the pleasurable difference.
Step Four: Female Ejaculation and Dual Stimulation
As you become more and more aroused, an "I need to pee" sensation may sweep through your body. Remember, you emptied your bladder before you began these techniques. So if you don't need to pee, what exactly is that feeling? When women are about to ejaculate, it tends to feel like the need to urinate. If you experience this sensation, you are on the cusp of ejaculating. You are doing everything correctly. Congratulate yourself or your partner.
Some women may find it difficult to let go when this sensation is experienced. They are so accustomed to associating the sensation with urination that a mental block gets in the way. Since your bladder is empty, it cannot be urine and, in fact, it is extremely difficult to pee while aroused. This is why you sometimes have to sit on the toilet for a couple of minutes following orgasm. So relax. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts.
If you simply cannot avoid the mental block, make a deal with yourself: "If I pee, I pee. It's not the end of the world." This will help you get over your initial confusion and concern. In the end, female ejaculate is nothing more than bodily fluid. Ask yourself if the stimulation feels good. If it does, why stop? See what happens when you continue, letting go of all your preconceived notions. If you begin to ejaculate, ride the wave of pleasure until its conclusion. Once you get past this block the first time, you will find that you can squirt much more easily.
Some women naturally ejaculate during and after intense G-Spot or clitoral stimulation; however, some women benefit more from dual stimulation: simultaneous G-Spot and clitoral stimulation. If you feel that G-Spot stimulation isn't working for you, play with your clit. Relying on both forms of stimulation will, no doubt, increase your pleasure and your chance of ejaculating. A lot of women enjoy quickly rubbing their clitoris while they ejaculate, making their orgasms more intense and powerful.
As with learning any new skill, patience with yourself and your partner is required. You can never have enough patience when learning how to ejaculate. Partners should not pressure one another! Support one another regardless of what happens.
Do not expect instant results. You will probably experience more pleasure with these techniques, but it might be a few practice runs before you or your partner are squirting. Focus your attention more on learning about your preferences. What feels good to you might not feel good for someone else!
Don't be afraid to try something new and deviate from this simple guide. You might notice that you respond better to stimulation techniques not mentioned in this guide. Let your body tell you what works.
There are women who ejaculate from clitoral stimulation or G-Spot stimulation or both. Try different combinations to see how your body reacts. You might find that you are capable of dual orgasms - G-Spot and clitoral! Or you might find that clitoral stimulation feels better to you. When something feels good, make a mental note of what you were doing so you will be able to replicate the same process later.
Most importantly of all, have fun and good luck!