More women might be open to backdoor sex than you think, according to a new study from Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. After researchers surveyed more than 2,000 men and women about their sexual behaviors, they found that nearly 43 percent of men and 37 percent of women reported having anal with the opposite sex in their lifetime.
The findings are consistent with a recent report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which found nearly the same percentages for both men and women.
Once taboo, anal sex has slowly been slipping into the mainstream, due to pop culture and porn explains Kimberly McBride, Ph.D.— a sex researcher.
If you have both expressed interest in experimenting with anal sex, there are some things to consider before you do so. In the past, sex researcher Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., lead author of the study, gave Men’s Health her advice on what you should know about anal sex. Here, the top tips from both her and McBride on what you can do to make sure anal sex is good for both of you.
1. YOU MUST BE ON BOARD WITH THE IDEA.
You have to want to try it. If someone is pressuring you into it, you're just not going to feel relaxed. So before either of you go anywhere near your backends, talk about it. That means having an open, honest conversation about it before you get to the bedroom.
Even if you both express interest in it then, you still need to check in with each other during sex to make sure you're both still onboard—even if it’s in the middle of sex while you’re switching positions.
Comfort is important since your anus doesn’t self-lubricate as your vagina does. If you're not ready for it, it's just going to hurt.
2. USE PROTECTION—AND LOTS OF LUBE.
To avoid the issues mentioned above, use plenty of lube to ensure you're not in any pain. In fact, using lube will make sex feel more pleasurable for the both of you. While you’re at it, make sure you use a condom, HPV and other sexually transmitted diseases—like herpes or gonorrhea—can be transmitted during anal sex.
(Try this organic lube from the Melrose Urban Female Boutique!)
3. DON’T GO FULL SPEED AHEAD.
Tell him to be gentle and go slowly. Despite what you’ve seen in porn, going too deep too quickly is going to cause pain.