Summer is in full swing – the sweltering, humid air seems to penetrate the barriers of even the hardest working air conditioners, popsicles immediately melt into sticky tropical-fruit flavored messes, and everyone’s car interior could probably bake a dozen cookies with no problem. Sometimes it feels like just too much effort to even move when you’re comfortably sprawled out under a lazily turning ceiling fan in nothing but your skivvies. Sex, much less any kind of exciting or passionate sex, seems to be pretty much entirely out of the question. Unless, of course, you go by the age-old adage of “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” That’s right everyone. We’re talking about taking your partner outside and into the one thing that has any power against that fierce summer sun – pools and other sweet, chilling bodies of water.

Sex in the pool has long been the subject of much speculation –Is it safe? Can you get pregnant from it? How exactly do you make it work? First off, it is trickier than normal intercourse, but can be safe if you follow a few guidelines. Number 2, we’d like to clear up this particular old wives tale immediately: yes you can get pregnant from underwater intercourse if you aren’t using birth control. There isn’t enough chlorine in any pool in the world to stop that sperm from achieving its one mission in life should the timing be right. So please read on to learn how to make your hydro-romp safe, responsible, and most of all, enjoyable and refreshing.

We’ll take this moment to inform everyone of the obvious fact that unfortunately, sex in public places is illegal. Moving on, if you happen to have a private backyard pool, start out with a sexy skinny dipping session. Not only will that cold water feel amazing after the juxtaposition of the searing sun, but hey, no tan lines! Hands-on foreplay and oral sex are great to get things going – try sitting on the steps into the pool so you’ll stay cool and also provide easy access for your partner. For a wider range of possibility, have your partner sit on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water (don’t forget to throw down a towel to avoid bare skin on hot brick or stone!)

When it’s time to do the deed, there are three absolute rules:

  1. 1. Get out of the water to put on the condom, whether you are using a male or female condom. Just take a minute to imagine the difficulties of trying to do this underwater, and you will see why this is rule number 1.
  2. 2. Don’t forget the lube! The water will wash away any natural lubrication in the vagina or pre-packaged lube on the condom, making things dry. It seems ironic, considering you’re surrounded by water, but getting past the irony, this lack of lubrication is extremely dangerous as it can weaken the condom, making it prone to rip or tear, and also can be rough for the lady’s sensitive insides. So, be sure to pick a good silicone-based lubricant as water based lubes will simply wash away, and oil-based lubes will damage a latex condom.
  3. 3. Gentlemen, once you’re in, stay in. Now is not the time for aggressive, porn-star style pumping. Think controlled and intimate. There are two goals here, the first being to decrease excess water flooding your partner’s vagina, and the second being to decrease the chances of the condom slipping off.

Finally, if you hate rules and your devil-may-care free spirit cannot handle these guidelines, stick to foreplay only under the water. An underwater act one will still be amazing and cool you off, even if you take things onto dry land for the finale. Safety is always paramount.

Hopefully we’ve inspired you to venture out into the heat for a little water play – even if that means just putting on your sexiest bikini and shooting smoldering looks at your partner from across the pool. It will be well worth your time and effort. We promise.

5th Aug 2014 Melrose Urban Female Staff

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