How to Feel Confident on Top

Having sex can be pretty nerve-wracking for various reasons; whether you're inexperienced, with a new person, or are insecure about the way you look, nervousness can really get in the way of having a fulfilling sex life. A dreaded sentence for many people is 'you get on top', so here are four things to keep in mind to help ease the pressure of riding cowgirl style.

You are Not 'Too Heavy'

People thinking that they are 'too heavy' is arguably the biggest reason why they do not feel comfortable astride their partner, but please remember that they are not going to crumble beneath your thighs! The human body is incredibly resilient and able to withstand much greater pressures than a bit of junk in the trunk, so do not let that get in the way of you riding to your heart's content. On the off chance that your partner is being crushed to death, they will certainly let you know.

They Know What You Look Like

If you do have a plus-sized body, this will not be a secret to your lover. If somebody is deciding to have sex with you, whether it be a one-night stand or a long-term relationship, they most likely have an idea of what your body looks like naked. They will be able to see that you are fuller figured (yes, even with your clothes on!) so if they still ask you to get on top, then that clearly does not bother them, and nor should it. They are not going to run away screaming as soon as you undress, in fact there is a 99.99% chance of them being utterly thrilled, as they should be! If they are having sex with you then they obviously find you attractive, so treat their lap like a stage and put on the hottest show you can!

It's Not Like the Movies

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when it comes to sex is comparing your own sexual performance to that of porn stars. While watching porn can be handy for learning a few new tips and tricks, most people do not have the ability to 'go at it' like that. In real life, getting on top can involve aches and pains, clicking knees, and getting out of breath - this is totally normal! Adult entertainers are PROFESSIONALS who have honed their craft so to speak, so they will give a more perfected performance. So don't feel bad if you can't ride for more than a few minutes or get into that insane squat position you keep seeing in videos. Take your time and enjoy yourself.

Blindfolds are Your Friend

Gaining confidence on top can be tricky, so if you want to take baby steps then blindfolding your partner can be a great place to start, as well as adding an extra sexy element to the experience. This way, you can really tease them and get into a rhythm that feels comfortable for you without having to worry about looking 'silly'. You could practice going slower and at a faster pace, get up close and personal, or lean back and go full cowgirl. This kinky extra will surely be a hit for both you and your partner.

25th Oct 2021

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